


i broke your heart, so why do you still care?

by iljhoon



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Breakup, Dialogue Heavy, Forgiveness, Healing, M/M, Open Ending, Running Away, after breakup, blink and you might miss it, meeting after a breakup, minor mark appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-23
Updated: 2018-08-23
Packaged: 2019-07-01 11:22:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15773124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iljhoon/pseuds/iljhoon
Summary: jaemin tells jeno for the hundredth time that it's okay. jeno still feels sorry.or alternatively, jeno runs away from home and jaemin is the only one who knows where he is.





	i broke your heart, so why do you still care?

**Author's Note:**

> this! is! my! fifth! time! attempting to write a fic but i keep stopping myself before i could complete it for reasons but hopefully i can post this up!!! this gets really dialogue heavy as it goes on, so i hope you enjoy reading this! LAPSLOCK INTENDED

**_"let's break up."_** those were the three words that tore na jaemin apart. his eyes glance over to look at his ~~lover~~ his past lover, in disbelief, confusion, and just overall shock. break up? those words have never crossed jaemin's mind before.

yet here he is, one step away from it.

_"but-but why? am i not good enough jeno? am i too rigid or too uptight? i don't get it, what's wrong?"_ he struggles to get the words out. his mind is running in circles and everything seem to be screaming at him. jaemin wants to scream back, but his throat is closing up and he just wants jeno to hold him.

but jeno won't be holding him again anytime soon.

**_"nana... it's not you, i just feel like i'm not good enough for a person like you. you're too good for me. i am so sorry"_** jeno sighs, running his fingers through his hair. he looks at the boy standing in front of him, breathing getting heavier and heavier as the clock ticks by. this silence is aggravating.

hearing jeno call him nana made it even worse for the boy.

_"liar! you're a liar jeno lee. tell me,"_ jaemin shouts out, staring into the older boy's eyes, " _you've fallen out of love, haven't you? you no longer love me, right?"_

 

jeno hates how jaemin knows him so well. 

 

x

jaemin spent weeks just laying out every photo and every gift and everything of his that had some form of an attachment to jeno, before carefully laying them down into a box; to be tucked away under his bed, never to be seen again. it drives him mad that so many of his belongings had a jeno memory attached to them, from teddy bears to five years worth of polaroids to that book of things to do before they die, everything was screaming jeno's name.

jaemin wanted to scream too.

 

x

 

after weeks of crying and staying copped up in his own apartment (mostly his bedroom), jaemin gets a rather frantic phone call from mark.

* * *

 

_hello?_

**_jaemin!_ **

_oh hi mark, what's up?  
_

**_listen, i know you and jeno may not be on the best of terms because he broke your heart and all-_ **

_i sense a 'but'  
_

**_-BUT he's gone missing and we can't seem to find him anywhere. it's been 2 days and everyone's getting more frantic than ever. we tried calling him, but it's all gone to voicemail. we figured you might know where he could've been considering your relationship and all._ **

_he's... he's missing?  
_

**_yes! can you please help us out? it's okay if you say no though, we unders-_ **

_yeah, i'll help.  
_

**_oh okay- wait. really?_ **

_yeah. i mean, YEAH he broke my heart but he's still my friend. and i care for him, you know.  
_

jaemin hears mark sigh over the phone,

_**thank you jaemin, really.** _

* * *

 

from the moment he hung up, he pushed himself off his bed to get ready for the search for jeno. if they had waited two days to call jaemin for his help, that would mean they have tried to find him in most of the usual places which jeno might be at, which led to no avail. he ruffles his hair and sighs, how did things end up like this? why did jeno run away from home? jaemin had so many questions for the boy when he finds him.

he shakes his head in an attempt to clear his mind from even more negative thoughts. for now, **finding jeno is jaemin's top priority.**

and jaemin may know just where that boy might be.

 

x

 

'im finally here.. i hope he's here too.' the cold wind brushes against jaemin's skin as he steps out of his car, causing him to jump a little. stuffing his hands deep into the pockets of his coat, he hopes he can stay warm till he gets to jeno. stepping over some rocks and crushing the leaves under him, jaemin is finally greeted by the place he had his high hopes in.

a cottage, in the middle of the woods.

jaemin recalls jeno bringing him to the cottage for the first time, a year into their relationship. jeno, with his bleached hair back then, giggling as he drags a darker haired jaemin through the woods, claiming he has a _special place_ to show him. when the cottage came into view, jaemin was more than amazed at the sight. who knew a cottage would be here? definitely not jaemin. jeno then proceeds to tell jaemin that the cottage was where he would go to, to relax and take a breather from the city. 

jaemin understands why.

standing in front of the wooden door, he lifts one hand, preparing to knock but stops before actually doing so. 'would jeno want to see me here? what if he tells me off?' he sighs, before shaking his head again.

 

_"no negative thoughts no negative thoughts. you'll never know till you try, jaemin."_ he whispers under his breath, before bringing his hand down to give the door three hard knocks. 

 

no response.

 

he closed his eyes and before he knew it, he was already pushing the door open.

 

x

 

_**"w-what are you doing here?"**_ a familiar voice greets jaemin, looking up, he sees jeno, staring back at him. this time jeno is the one who's in disbelief, confusion and shock.

_"why did you run away from home?"_ jaemin returns a question as though it was a boomerang.

_**"i broke your heart, why do you care so much about me?"**_ jaemin knows that this was jeno's rough attempt at pushing him away. frankly, it's not working.

_"can you answer my question first?"_

_**.** _

_**.** _

_**"... no, i asked first."**_ jeno was insistent on getting his answers from the boy whose heart he broke.

 

jaemin takes in a deep breath, before looking at the disheveled boy standing across from him, " _i came here because i knew that you'd be here. everyone's worried and so am i. you ask me why i still care about you? jeno, we were friends for 3 years and were together for 2 more, it's hard to not care for you, you know?"_

 

he laughs coldly, the tension between them rises. 

 

the younger boy takes this time to take a step forward, closer and closer, until he's just barely an arms length away from the other. " _can you answer my question now? why did you run away from home?"_ he whispers, breathy.

 

jeno glances at the boy whose heart he had shattered two weeks prior to this, standing right in front of him, looking concerned. his heart aches knowing that the concern was for him, _the heart breaker._

 

_"_ _do you... perhaps feel suffocated by everything that's happening around_ _you?"_ jaemin decides to make a wild guess. guessing is better than the silence that engulfs them and swallows his heart alive.

the black-haired boy looked at him in shock, _**"**_ _ **h-how did you-"**_

 

jaemin laughs again, this time a little more light-hearted, " _i've known you for five years and we've dated for two. during those years, we've had endless 4am phone calls, do you remember those? i think i know you quite well, jeno."_

the silence seems to get louder with every breath they took. 

the older boy channels his attention from the floor to jaemin, this time, it was the younger who was glancing at the floor, eyes drawing over the way his shoelaces are tied together.

clearing his throat, jeno barely lets out, " _ **were you... weren't you... upset when i decided to break it off? "**_

without even sparing the boy a glance, jaemin replies, 

_"upset..? yeah i mean, i was upset. i cried so hard that my eyes had become swollen and i looked like an absolute wreck."_ he laughs, suddenly looking up at the ceiling, " _but that doesn't mean i don't care for you anymore. and besides, i can't blame you for losing feelings. **i can't blame anyone. "**_

 

jeno knows jaemin's looking up in an attempt to prevent his tears from falling. he knows jaemin quite well too, you know. 

 

_**"i'm sorry."** _

 

_"don't be. it's okay, we have had fate for awhile, then we lost its phone number. it's okay jeno, it's okay."_

 

jeno knows that it's not okay, and that the reason why jaemin keeps saying that "it's okay" is not for his own's sake, it's for jaemin's sake.

 

jaemin's doing it to remind himself to be okay,

 

and that wrecks jeno's heart.

**Author's Note:**

> how this ends is up to you, the reader! whether they get back together, or stay as friends or just strangers. i really just wanted to write about a scene on them meeting after a breakup and how they encountered that, hope it was okay!


End file.
